


We're Happy Little Vegemites...

by pinkyapples



Series: Terrible Lymerics and other literary horrors [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:49:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24030838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkyapples/pseuds/pinkyapples
Summary: "We're happy little vegemites as bright as bright can be..""M- m - make him stop," there was a whimpered hiccup, "please,""We all enjoy our vegemite for breakfast, lunch or tea..""I don't think he believes you,""aaaaagh!!" the bound hunter screamed, the electricity flowing through him.AKAVariations on a Vegemite advertising theme
Relationships: Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: Terrible Lymerics and other literary horrors [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1733533
Comments: 1
Kudos: 72





	We're Happy Little Vegemites...

" _We're happy little vegemites as bright as bright can be.."_

"M- m - make him stop," there was a whimpered hiccup, "please, make him stop." 

" _We all enjoy our vegemite for breakfast, lunch or tea.."_

"I don't think he believes you," 

" **aaaaagh**!! I give you anything" the bound hunter screamed, the electricity flowing through him. Peter looked towards the corner where Stiles stood.

"Do you believe him?"

_"Our mother says we're growing stronger every single day.."_

Stiles shook his head and threw the switch, electricuting the hunter again. The man's scream died as the power cut. He hangs there whimpering, defeated, humiliated. 

" _Because we love our Vegemite, we all adore our Vegemite, it puts a rose on every cheek."_

Stiles mutes the TV screen. It's been playing a looped recording of the most irritating advertising jingles he could find. This one is for an Australian breakfast spread that claims to be full of vitamin B. 

He doesn't want to ever taste it. Ever. It looks like someone sifted tar then bottled it as jam. 

Peter claims to have tried it. Stiles caught the infnticimal shudder at the memory, hence he, himself, will Never try the stuff. 

"Now, I believe him." he comes over to the hunter, checks the mans earlier wounds. Gives him a cursary wipe down with a towel and a slap to the face to awaken him. 

"So, now that we've broken through all the bullshit. Where is Alpha McCall? You get one chance. Answer truthfully and we grant you a swift merciful death. Understood? Your Calvery is not coming. You have only death and how to do so." 

Stiles stood back and left the broken man to weep. Peter came to stand beside him. He rested his hand upon Stiles shoulder. Then they approached the bound hunter, asking and getting the information needed to rescue Scott. 

" What's your full name? " Peter asked at last. 

"Whaa? George Smith" the man answered tonelessly. 

"Thankyou George." Peter lifted the man's head and looked him in the eye. Then snapped his neck. 

Stiles watched as Peter gently unbound and lowered the man's body to the floor of the warehouse. 

"Why did you ask him his name?" 

"Because he was the only one worthy. These others are thugs for hire. You heard them. This man truly believed he was doing his Job. His calling. Right up until he realised he was wrong. That's what he was weeping about. The torture, of course, but mourning what-might-have-been more."

"So?Now what?" Stiles asked. Yawned and rubbed his eyes, the adrenaline of the last week fading fast now they knew where Scott was being held. 

"You, get as cleaned up as you can and call Derek with the whereabouts of his Incompetent Leander. I'll start on cleanup."

Peter walked towards a forklift parked in one corner of the warehouse. He drove it over to a miniskip. Then drove the skip over to where they'd been questioning the hunters.

Stiles wondered over to their makeshift home for the last week. A non-descript motorhome and took a quick shower before changing into cleaner clothes. They weren't bloody but neither were they laundered.

He texts Derek the relevant information. Then goes to pack up the various tools of torture and dismantled the electrified rack. It all packs down to a 2×3 crate that Peter would move to storage once he's finished dealing with the bodies.

Nothing left to do he goes back to the motorhome and collapses upon the bed. 

It's dawn when he wakes to Peter showering. "All done?" he yawns and stretches. Peter exits the shower cubical and towels himself dry while answering. 

"Yes. George met an accident driving back to report. Car burnt upon impact. The rest done and dusted, so to speak. There's a trail leading to where they should have met up with Scott's captors. Seems they were stoners as well as unlicenced hunters. Bad batch of mushrooms caused pyschotic episode. Killed each other. They should have listened to Nancy and just said NO". 

Peter came and lay down beside him to sleep. Stiles snuggled closer. When they next awoke it was to various text message alerts pinging. 

**Author's Note:**

> Actually love Vegemite but it is basically brewers yeast extract and very salty. Love the advert as well but think it would drive me berko if left on repeat.
> 
> Wrote on phone and autocorrect non english so excuse typos and bursts of swedish
> 
> Edit, here is the original advert in all it's glorious nostalgi.  
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JUxun4OZXS0


End file.
